Welcome to the sixth edition of the 2021 report card, where you will find a more light-hearted look at each weekend in college football. Grades are handed out where it’s deemed appropriate.
There is no grading on a curve here, so failing marks have zero chance of being reversed and passing ones are handed out less frequently. (Again, reminding people that emails and complaint tweets will be deleted).
Last week’s failing grades went to Colorado State’s confused field goal unit. Passing grades went to Kansas’ shameless promotion in their near upset of Oklahoma and Mike Leach with the take of the year concerning candy corn and gummy bears.
The Week 9 analysis of how fans, teams, players and coaches fared:
Scouting report fail
Houston cornerback Marcus Jones had eight kickoff and punt return touchdowns in his career entering Saturday’s game against SMU. Everyone had to know that stat. The coaches, the people in the stadium, hell, even the people watching the broadcast had to be aware.
When someone can literally take it to the house every time they touch the ball, conventional wisdom would tell you to do everything you can to keep the ball away from them.
SMU trailed most of the night against the Cougars and finally tied the score at 37 after a 45-yard field goal with 30 seconds remaining.
So the question needs to be asked, if you were a coach what would do if you knew Jones was waiting for the ensuring kickoff and could possibly return it for a score, or at the very least set Houston up in field goal range?
Well, SMU apparently answered that by saying “Kick it to him.”
“I didn’t think he was going to kick it to me at first,” Jones said after the game. “When I saw him kick it, I was going to return it.”
Well, there you go.
On cue, Jones, who also had an interception in the game, took the kickoff two yards deep in the end zone and scooted virtually untouched for a 100-yard score, giving Houston its seventh straight victory.
Pony expressed: F
No need for tape delay
Actor Ken Jeong was in East Lansing, Michigan, as the guest picker on College GameDay on Saturday, which is fine and well (he is actually a Detroit native, hence the relevancy) for those interested in the Michigan vs. Michigan State game and the incessant talk of someone saying little brother every five minutes.
While predicting the winner of the Utah-UCLA contest, Jeong, who picked the Bruins, decided to give a shout out to his wife, Dr. Tran Ho, who went to the David Geffen School of Medicine at UCLA in Los Angeles.
“Tran, you complete me, Ho!” Jeong aaid. “That’s her last name. That’s her last name. Relax, ESPN. How dare you.”
That quip got instant giggles from the GameDay crew, who could barely contain their laughter to even get through their picks.
Even Lee Corso, who was marking the 10th anniversary of him dropping the “F” bomb on live television, looked bewildered.
And yes, Kirk “Son of a Biscuit” Herbstreit, he absolutely said what you think he said. Jeong’s instant classic scores the highest of marks from the Report Card.
Hangover for the FCC: A+
Play of the year?
Florida State has had a rough start to the season, but has picked it up over the past few weeks.
In the second quarter against Clemson, a new candidate for play of the year emerged. On the first play of their fourth possession, Seminoles quarterback Jordan Travis dropped back to pass and found a wide open Lawrance Toafili down the right sideline on a wheel route.
Toafili rumbled downfield and was brought down by defensive back Sheridan Jones. But during the tackle, Toafili never hit the turf and regained his balance and tip-toed down the sideline for a 75-yard score.
The play reminded many of Auburn running back Michael Dyer and his tumbling act in the national championship against Oregon in 2010.
Rumblin’ bumblin’ stumblin’: A
Bad beat on a bad play
In continuing with the Florida State-Clemson game, gambling usually doesn’t get much play on the Report Card, but the final play that extended Clemson’s home winning streak to 32 needs some discussion. Vegas had the Seminoles as a 9.5 point underdog and the over/under was set at 47.5.
With the score 24-20, Florida State tried for a miracle on the final play, attempting several laterals before the final one was fumbled and picked up by Clemson linebacker Barrett Carter at the 4-yard-line and run in for a score with no time remaining.
That made the final score 30-20 and made losers out of those who had the Seminoles beating the spread or who bet the under and winners for the ones betting the over. It was Clemson’s first win this season against the spread.
Don’t bother playing Powerball: D-
Follow NOW reporter Scooby Axson on Twitter @ScoobAxson
This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: College football Week 9 recap: Houston stuns SMU with late kick return